


no homo

by dudewhattlol



Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: I'm Bad At Tagging, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, all four of them together, bc they make my false scenerios abt poly relationships pop off, karl is our lil confused asexual, like seriously they are so sexual in this, no smut i guess i mean idk the plans for this book so we'll both be surprised, super gay, texting fic bc i suck at actual writing lol, this isn’t funny, we die like sapnap realizing hes not as straight as he thinks finally
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-15 04:06:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 31
Words: 14,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28807026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dudewhattlol/pseuds/dudewhattlol
Summary: sapnap : what does it mean when u jerk off to gay porndream : jesus sapnap whatkarl : ???george : why are you asking us( lowercase intended )
Relationships: Clay | Dream & Karl Jacobs, Clay | Dream & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream/Karl Jacobs, Clay | Dream/Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), GeorgeNotFound/Karl Jacobs, GeorgeNotFound/Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Karl Jacobs/Sapnap
Comments: 811
Kudos: 1034





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this will probably be rlly bad this is honestly just for fun and bc i'm bored lol but either way i rlly do hope you enjoy my sloppy writing

**sapnap** **created a group**

**sapnap changed group name : three bottoms one top**

dream : as three bottoms you mean you, karl and george right

karl : hey :/

sapnap : no dreamwastaken

sapnap : i meant three bottoms : you, george and karl

sapnap : one top : me

george : sapnap you're obviously a bottom

sapnap : your just saying that bc i called u a bottom

karl : you're*

sapnap : shut up 

karl : sorry

george : i'm saying it bc its true

dream : karl

dream : sapnap bottoms right

karl : how would i know

dream : your instinct 

george : you met him in person dream

george : shouldnt you know

sapnap : no bc he aint wanna give me sloppy toppy 

dream : you never offered

sapnap : I LITERALLY DID

sapnap : AND YOU WERE LIKE "shut up"

dream : YOU ASKED IN PUBLIC.

dream : AT LIKE THE TOP OF YOUR LUNGS

sapnap : SO?

sapnap : YOUR THE ONE LETTING THAT STOP ME

karl : you're* sapnap please

sapnap : karl i swear to god

george : leave karl alone hes right

sapnap : shut up twinks

karl : ???

george : ok too far fuck off

dream : he didnt necessarily lie

george : 

sapnap : HAHAHAAHH

karl : omg HAHA

dream : im deleting this app

george : yes PLEASE finally

sapnap : i cant stop laughing

dream : i will literally kill you

sapnap : your the one who decided to wear those 

dream : ITS FLORIDA OK SHUT UP

dream : YOU CANT EVEN USE THE RIGHT YOU'RE 

sapnap : let me make a list

sapnap 1. breathed 

sapnap : i think thats it guys !!! 

dream : please stop

karl : agreeing with dream on this one

george : yeah tbh

george : how're you 19 and still use simple grammar

**sapnap has left the chat**

karl : loser


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> slowly starting to realize i have like no life and will probably be updating this a lot quicker than i thought

dream : 

dream : georgenap confirmed?!?!

sapnap : PLEASE

george : delete this right now

karl : 😳😳

dream : no this is black mail material 

george : how is it black mail material its not real

dream : can u let me have my moment george

george : oh sorry hold on

george : oh my GOD dream delete it right now i’ll do anything please

dream : ok now you’re pushing it

sapnap : george you don’t remember that??

sapnap : when i came to visit and u didnt want anyone to know 

sapnap : i gave u sloppy under the table

sapnap : dont u remember 😖

george : this never happened btw

karl : OMG i remember that

karl : sapnap told me abt that

sapnap : SEE

sapnap : if it didn’t happen would i tell karl

george : yes you guys talk everyday i’m sure ur always telling lies

karl : you’re just upset because you got exposed 

dream : posting this pic to twitter rn

george : i will kill you

sapnap : dream post it i deserve my recognition 

sapnap : i gave him the best sloppy i’ve ever given anyone

dream : ...

dream : wait huh

karl : OMFJAKAJ

george : HAHAHAHA

sapnap : ??

dream : you’ve ever gave anyone huh??

sapnap : i’m confused

george : sapnap oh my god

sapnap : OH

sapnap : WAIT NO

sapnap : I MWANT LIKE

sapnap : STOP

dream : #sapnapisabottom confirmed 🤔?!?!

sapnap : please shut up

dream : make me stupid bottom 

sapnap : OK WERENT WE MAKING FUN OF GEORGE

sapnap : CAN WE GO BACK TO THAT NOW

karl : no this is interesting 

sapnap : YOU have no room to talk YOUR the bottom

karl : you’re*

sapnap : PLEASE SHUT UP

george : it’s ok sapnap

george : just embrace it

sapnap : i’m not embracing anything fuck off

dream : you sure are defensive for soomeone who’s not a bottom

karl : ^^

george : ^^

sapnap : 😐 

dream : #angrysapnap

george : #angrysapnap 

karl : #angrysapnap

sapnap : #angrysapnap 😔

george : LOL


	3. Chapter 3

sapnap : what does it mean when u jerk off to gay porn

dream : jesus sapnap what

karl : ???

george : why are you asking us

sapnap : u all like dick

george : no we don't

dream : karl does, ask him

karl : just because i like men does not mean i'm gonna be your sexuality helper

sapnap : sexuality??

sapnap : im straight

dream : ...

george : uh

karl : wait so

karl : you...did things to gay stuff

karl : and you're still saying you're straight

sapnap : because i am

dream : u sure abt that

george : 

george : sapnap trying to convince us hes straight

sapnap : ok fuck off will you

dream : *voice message*

sapnap : STOP LAUGHING ITS NKT FUNNY

dream : i’m sorry but that was genuinely so good

karl : i’m sorry but i will never get over dreams laugh

karl : its so funny 

dream : yk what i cant get over?

dream : you

george : GOODBYE

sapnap : CAN WE STOP FLIRTING AND FUCKING LSITEN TO ME 

karl : i...

dream : sorry sapnap, let’s hear abt how shocked u are that you’re closeted

sapnap : IM NOT CLOSETED

karl : but you’re confused, correct?

sapnap : YES.

sapnap : idk what this means

george : just experiment

sapnap : experiment how

dream : fuck some guy

karl : 😳

sapnap : BUT WHAT IF I DONT LIKE IT

dream : then you’re straight 

sapnap : i dont wanna fuck some random person tho

dream : fuck a close friend

sapnap : 😐 you’re all straight

george : karl isnt

karl : yeah...no ❤️

sapnap : goodbye you guys don’t help

dream : do you seriously not have any other friends 

sapnap : NO

george : you don’t have college friends?

sapnap : NO

sapnap : i literally dont talk to anyone, i just do my work and go home and sleep

george : you’re such a loser

dream : george you don’t even go outside

george : I DO 

dream : if i liked men sapnap i’d volunteer

sapnap : that didn’t help 😐

george : dude just

george : watch other porn and like

george : see if it turns you on again

george : if it does ur not straight

karl : not a bad idea

dream : ^

sapnap : ...

sapnap : brb

george : have fun

dream : think of me


	4. Chapter 4

sapnap : i just failed this rlly big test

sapnap : like seriously it was a rlly big test

sapnap : and i got an F

dream : how’d you get an F

sapnap : 😐

sapnap : are you stupid

dream : what was the test about

sapnap : dude i don’t know i was confused the whole time

karl : why are you surprised you failed if you don’t even know what the test was

sapnap : i never know what the tests are

sapnap : i atleast get a B

george : you’re so stupid

sapnap : suck dick

dream : how do you always get a B 

dream : if you never know what you’re doing

sapnap : dude idk i just always pick the answer that seems more accurate 

karl : can’t you fail doing that

george : i mean how decent are your grades sapnap

sapnap : decent enough

george : i hope you fail

sapnap : thanks george i love you too babe

karl : you should really start trying more sap

dream : ^

sapnap : so boring

sapnap : what’s the point

dream : to get a career you fuck

sapnap : you do minecraft for a living

sapnap : and you’re like loaded

sapnap : i’ll just follow in your footsteps duh

dream : i will hit you

george : don’t follow dreams footsteps 

george : he’s stupid he’ll just make it worse

dream : wow ok 💔

karl : just try your best sap, we’ll be here for you :)

sapnap : you’re so cute thank you

george : 🤨

dream : 👀

sapnap : don’t even start

dream : you never call me cute sapnap

dream : what’s going on 😔

sapnap : ur ugly

dream : suck my dick

sapnap : okay 🤪

george : gay

karl : says you

sapnap : LMAO

george : karl i-

george : karl i thought we had something 

karl : we do

sapnap : you don’t karl is mine

dream : actually karl is mine

karl : guys guys don’t fight over me 🙄

sapnap : ill steal your cat dream

dream : she hates you

sapnap : she liked me more than she likes you 

sapnap : i miss her

sapnap : my lil gf 🤪

dream : GF???

dream : i’m hiding her

dream : keep karl

sapnap : WOOHOO I WIN

sapnap : karl wanna kiss

karl : uh yeah is that even a question

sapnap : kisses u with the wettest kiss you’ve ever had

karl : literally blushes so hard from that kiss

george : 😐

dream : what in the roleplay

dream : do this on ur own time

sapnap : karl would you like to have sexual intercourse

karl : omg sapnap 😳 not until marriage

sapnap : you’re right, sorry sexy 

george : this is how sapnap just convinces us he’s even more gay then we think he is

sapnap : only for karl

dream : WAIT KARL

dream : YOU TOLD ME YOU WERE ASEXUAL WHEN I ASKED FOR SEXUAL INTERCOURSE

dream : WHAT THE HELL

karl : I DID NOT

karl : I SAID I DONT WANNA HAVE SEXUAL INTERCOURSE EVER

dream : ISNT THAT ASEXUALITY

karl : NO ITS JUST REJECTION

sapnap : IM LMAOOO

george : you’d be with sapnap but not dream?

karl : i’m letting you have dream george, thank me instead

dream : i don’t want george i want you 

sapnap : leave my boyfriend alone

george : BOYFRIEND??

sapnap : yes i’ve officially realized i am so gay

dream : finally

sapnap : for karl. only for karl.

george : oh my god

sapnap : let’s all thank karl for making me realize how gay i am for him only

dream : fuck karl

karl : hey :(

george : thank you karl 

sapnap : claps so hard

george : dream

dream : what

george : thank karl

dream : why

dream : he broke my heart

sapnap : just fucking thank him you stupid lanky bitch

dream : i- 😔

dream : thank you karl

karl : :* 4 all of u

george : cute


	5. Chapter 5

karl : guys omg

karl : oh my god

sapnap : DONT YOU DARE

karl : HAHAHAH

sapnap : IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.

karl : AN ACCIDENT??

dream : ??

karl : SAPNAP JUST SENT ME HIS...THING

karl : I MEAN SERIOUSLY IT WAS LITERALLY ALL OUT

sapnap : IT WASNT MEANT FOR YOU OH MY GOD

dream : FR?

karl : YES

sapnap : this is so embarrassing 

sapnap : i’m never living this down

karl : NO YOU’RE NOT 

sapnap : didn’t you at least like it 😔

karl : YOU COULDVE WARNED ME.

sapnap : IT WASNT MEANT FOR YOU

sapnap : I WOULDNT HAVE SENT IT IF I KNEW I WAS SENDING IT TO YOU

george : who even was it for

sapnap : nobody shut up

dream : so you just take nude pictures for no reason

sapnap : yes dream who doesn’t 

george : sapnap has a point ive done it before

dream : oh?

george : don’t

dream : i literally send my nude pictures to someone

dream : i dont just...take them for no reason

george : well sometimes you need them for confidence 

sapnap : right 

karl : am i the only one who’s never sent a nude picture before

sapnap : WAIT WHAT

sapnap : wait omg karl

sapnap : are you 😳 a virgin 😳

dream : 👁👁

george : 🤨

karl : guys i-

sapnap : YOU ARE ARENT YOU

karl : WHEN DID WE GET INTO THIS TOPIC

dream : oh my god

dream : you’re a virgin

karl : guys 😔

sapnap : it’s ok to be a virgin karl

dream : yeah ofc it is

dream : but like

dream : how do you do that

dream : don’t you ever see someone and ur like “damn”

karl : no

karl : i don’t rlly think about that stuff

sapnap : do you atleast jerk off

karl : i’m not answering these questions anymore

george : can’t tell if that’s a yes or no

dream : everyone jerks off

dream : i mean seriously i could go with no sex

dream : but jerking off?

karl : jesus you are even worse off stream

george : oh yeah he is

sapnap : ok so ur a virgin

sapnap : you do or dont jerk off whatever

sapnap : and you’ve never take a nude picture

george : can you atleast answer this

george : isnt there times where you like

george : want to

karl : i’m leaving ✊

sapnap : you can send one to me karl

dream : aren’t you straight

sapnap : can’t you shut up for once

george : hes gay for karl remember 

sapnap : ^^

karl : i’m flattered but no thanks

sapnap : so what do you do for fun then

karl : talk to you guys, duh :)

dream : why are you

dream : so cute

george : right

sapnap : right

dream : right.

karl : stoppp

sapnap : karl that’s it

sapnap : i’m sending another pic

karl : oh 😳

dream : literally sending one too

karl : 👁👄👁

george : me too

karl : i-

karl : did you actually-

karl : omg

dream : yeah ❤️

karl : WHAT THE HONK GUYS

dream : how was georges 

sapnap : was it small

karl : GEORGE SENT A PICTURE WITH HIS CAT

sapnap : SO WE SENT OUR PPS FOR NOTHING

karl : oh my god my eyes

dream : i’m proud of mine


	6. Chapter 6

*messages between **george** , **sapnap, dream** *

sapnap : I THINK I LIKE KARL 

dream : woah

george : finally

sapnap : I THINK I AM BISEXUAL AND LIKE KARL.

dream : how did you figure this out

sapnap : dude idk i got high

sapnap : and actually thought abt it yk??

sapnap : and then like

sapnap : i like karl

george : oh my god you got my hopes up

dream : go to sleep sap

sapnap : IM SERIOUS

sapnap : i literally wanna slob on his knob so bad

george : lord have mercy

dream : STOP

sapnap : do u believe me now

dream : yes

george : god yes please we do yes

sapnap : what do i do

dream : tell him

george : don’t tell him

george : you’re high

george : you might literally wake up and be like “what”

george : just wait

sapnap : but i do like him

george : im not doubting you do

dream : you were literally just straight

sapnap : IM NOT ANYMORE 

sapnap : i figured it out

dream : ok sapnap

george : gts

sapnap : sigh

sapnap : ok

sapnap : night guys

sapnap : i like karl

george : we know

dream : yup

* **three bottoms, one top***

karl : hii guys 

karl : guess what

george : what

dream : what what what

karl : wheres sap we all need to be here

george : sap is napping

dream : yeah he got high and we told him to gts

sapnap : no i’m awake

sapnap : i don’t listen to u guys

karl : hi sapnap 

sapnap : hi babe

dream : what is it karl

karl : nothing 

karl : just missed u guys

dream : plz kiss me

karl : kisses u

sapnap : me too?

karl : kisses u

dream : literally so cute

george : 🤨

karl : want a kiss george

george : um

karl : just one

dream : get a kiss george

sapnap : ^

george : sigh

george : yeah ok

karl : 🥲 kisses u

dream : SO CUTE

sapnap : lets all just make out

george : now ur pushing it

dream : WOOHOO FOURSOME MAKE OUT PARTY

sapnap : YEAAAA BABY

karl : guys omg stop

george : ^

sapnap : fine

sapnap : dream we should just make out

dream : WOOHOO MAKING OUT WITH SAPNAP PARTY

sapnap : dude

sapnap : i’m so attracted to u rn

dream : dude 😳

dream : are we abt to like

dream : have sexual intercourse rn

sapnap : um yeah dude let’s go

dream : buying my ticket to texas right now

george : send the video 

karl : 😳

dream : just for u georgie

sapnap : and u karl

dream : we know u wanna see it too karl

karl : shut up losers


	7. Chapter 7

sapnap : i am 🤏 this close

sapnap : to actually crying

karl : what happened :(

dream : dude are u ok

george : ?

sapnap : i fucking ran out of my monsters

dream : dude

dream : i hate you

sapnap : sorry

sapnap : literally if i say anything else i’m ignored

dream : NOT EVEN TRUE

karl : sorry sap i love you

sapnap : it’s ok karl 

sapnap : you make up for it by sending me pics of you 

karl : :o

dream : gaysapnap

george : gaykarl 

sapnap : karlnap 🥶‼️💯

karl : dreamnotfound 🥶‼️💯

george : STOP

dream : i wish but george plays too much 💔

sapnap : it’s ok so does karl

sapnap : he won’t let me give him sloppy toppy 

sapnap : can you believe that

george : yes

sapnap : 😐

karl : NOT UNTIL MARRIAGE

sapnap : WE ARE MARRIED

karl : 👁👁

dream : that reminds me 

dream : of this tiktok with this couple

dream : and it was like “the best thing we did? waited until marriage”

dream : it reminded me of you guys

karl : it is the best thing to do thank you

sapnap : karl just admit you don’t want me anymore 😢

karl : I NEVER SAID THAT

dream : george we can never argue like that

dream : you’d let me give u sloppy toppy before marriage right

george : you’re not giving me sloppy toppy at all

sapnap : stop rejecting him george

sapnap : he loves u

karl : #stoprejecting

sapnap : #stoprejecting

dream : #stoprejecting

george : no

dream : i’m gonna make #stopjecting trending on twitter if u dont stop

sapnap : me too

karl : ...me three sorry george 😔

george : WTF GUYS

george : i hate you all

dream : 3

george : you are not

dream : 2

george : WHAT DO I EVEN SAY

dream : 1

george : YES U CNA FIVE ME SKIPPY TOOPY BEFORE MARRIAGE

karl : that english 

dream : gasp

dream : did george just 

sapnap : guys the moment is happening

karl : dreamnotfound is finally happening 

dream : george

dream : kisses u so hard

george : sigh

george : kisses back so hard

sapnap : YEAH BABY WOOHOO

sapnap : KARL LETS MAKE OUT

karl : WOAHHHH


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wrote this while listening to your city gives me ashtma, just wanted to share ✊

karl : GUYYAYWHEJE

karl : GUYS

dream : hm?

karl : THERES

karl : this rlly nice guy

karl : like seriously i can’t tell if he’s flirting or if he’s just nice

karl : what do i do how do i ask for his number

george : “can i have your number”

karl : I CANT DO THAT

george : then i don’t know what to tell you

dream : have you been flirting back

karl : I CANT FLIRT 

dream : oh my god

dream : then all you can do is ask for their number

karl : YOU GUYS ARE SO BAD AT THIS

karl : sapnap come here

karl : sapnap help

sapnap : what

karl : how do i tell this guy i want his number without telling him i want it

sapnap : um

sapnap : i don’t know if you can 

sapnap : you just ask for it

karl : sapnap with no advice?

karl : are you ok 

sapnap : its like eight am 

sapnap : i am tired

karl : sigh

karl : ok i’m going to ask him 

karl : wish me luck

george : good luck

dream : good luck

sapnap : good luck karl

***messages between george, dream, sapnap***

dream : sapnap

dream : u ok?

sapnap : yeah?

sapnap : why wouldn’t i be

george : you were acting weird in the gc

george : and we know you like karl so

sapnap : pft

sapnap : i’m ok

dream : you sure?

dream : i mean seriously sapnap i’ve never actually seen you like someone

dream : you know it’s always just been hook ups and shit

dream : ever since yk

sapnap : jesus christ dream i’m fine i promise

george : ever since what?

sapnap : nothing

dream : nothing

george : okay

dream : just

dream : sapnap you can talk to us if you’re not as okay as you say you are

dream : i know we joke around a lot but you’re our bestfriend

george : i know i don’t really show it a lot

george : but you’re special to me sap

george : i love you

dream : we love you

sapnap : :)

sapnap : i love you guys too

sapnap : thank you

george : of course sap

dream : wanna kiss

sapnap : seriously?

dream : yes

sapnap : 😔 kisses u so hard

dream : kisses you back

george : threesome?

sapnap : GEORGEAJWKEJ

dream : yes george ✊

***three bottoms, one top***

karl : GUSYAHAJEJE I GOT HIS NUMBER

george : did he ask or did you

karl : he did but thats besides the point

dream : congrats 

sapnap : congrats karl

sapnap : can we still kissy kissy

karl : yes sapnap we can

dream : #karlisawhore

karl : STOP

sapnap : karl be my whore ✊

george : gay

dream : shut up george

sapnap : you have no room to talk when u agreed to let dream give you sloppy toppy

george : never happened i do not remember 

dream : OMFG GEORGE

dream : I WENT UP TO SS HIS MESSAGE AND HE DELETED IT

george : whattttt

dream : IM GONNA CRY

sapnap : this is why you take screenshots before hand

dream : thats it i’m making stoprejecting trend on twitter

sapnap : sigh

sapnap : we’re on our way


	9. Chapter 9

george : why is stop rejecting

george : STILL trending

sapnap : karl and i have been tweeting about it multiple times on our alts

george : why did i not know this

karl : maybe bc you don’t follow our alts 💔

dream : george did this change your mind

george : no its still the same

george : think i even gained some followers from it tbh

dream : ok actually fuck off

karl : gonna make #unfollowgeorge trending

george : DONT DO THAT ILL LOSE MY VERIFICATION 

sapnap : no you won’t 

sapnap : will you

george : I DONT WANNA TAKE THE RISK

george : thats my biggest flex out of this friend group

george : please don’t take it away

dream : kiss us and we won’t 

george : YOU CANT BLACKMAIL ME YOU DICK

karl : i have the tweet drafted

sapnap : me 2

dream : me 3

george : i will literally start crying

george : do you want that on your hands

dream : can u send pics

dream : ill jerk to it

george : PLEASE SHUT UP

sapnap : its ok

sapnap : me dream and karl will just date without you

george : sounds great to me

sapnap : and repeatedly post for everyone to unfollow you 

dream : i’ll tell everyone i’ll do a face reveal if they do it

karl : you’re going to give your fans even worst trust issues then you’ve already gave them

dream : they’ll be fine

dream : george

george : no

dream : ill do it

george : please dont

dream : 😁

george : FINE

george : dream i love you

dream : kiss me.

george : OKAY NO

dream : kiss me george.

george : 😔

george : kisses you i guess

sapnap : gayyyyy

dream : you literally like men

sapnap : says you mr. george kiss me or i’m gonna make everyone unfollow you

dream : says you mr. karl wanna have sexual intercourse

karl : do not bring me into this

dream : karl we can have sexual intercourse

dream : it’ll be better

sapnap : no it won’t 

dream : shut up die

dream : karl ill send a pic of my face

dream : have sexual intercourse with me

karl : i...

karl : omw 😔

sapnap : WOAH WTF

sapnap : KARL

sapnap : IS THIS WHAT WE DO

karl : HE WANTS IT OK

sapnap : i’m breaking up with you

dream : good

george : what is even happening 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i woke up this morning to people actually enjoying this book???? i just wanted to say thank you to like everyone because y’all why i have motivation to even continue with this book ✊ ok on to this shitty chapter

dream : how did you know you liked guys

sapnap : 🧍♂️

sapnap : um

sapnap : why??

dream : just wondering

karl : when i started having attractions to guys

karl : different guys

sapnap : oo karls a lil out there 😫

karl : shut up be serious 

dream : yeah but

dream : what drove you to 

dream : coming clean with it

karl : people trying to set me up with girls 

sapnap : i wanted to be able to talk abt guys free

sapnap : like i wanted to be able to let people know

sapnap : if i had a boyfriend of some sort

sapnap : plus i knew everyone would be supportive 

karl : you honestly just know dream

karl : it mostly starts when you start having attractions towards a man

karl : or in sapnaps case

karl : he did things to gay..things

karl : and it helped him figure it out

karl : maybe not figure it out, maybe it just helped him understand more

sapnap : at first it’s confusing and shit but once you accept that you might like men, it’s not as confusing anymore yk?

dream : okay

karl : why are you asking us this

dream : um

dream : i don’t know

dream : i guess it started when i wasn’t rlly too fazed by flirting with you guys

dream : i’m gonna be honest i started having attractions towards you all

dream : not romantic ones, but i’d fuck the shit outta all of you

sapnap : GOODBYE

karl : ...

karl : nice 👍🏼

dream : like i don’t think i have a crush on you guys

dream : i know i don’t, you guys don’t do stupid crush stuff to me or whatever

dream : but i was just confused

dream : you know?

sapnap : dude yeah

sapnap : i’d fuck the shit outta all of you too

sapnap : right karl?

karl : um

karl : sure 😄

dream : so at first i did assume i liked you guys

dream : and that made it worse

dream : but i don’t, i think i just have attractions towards guys

sapnap : or attractions towards us 🤪

dream : i’ll hit you

karl : dream it’s ok

karl : you don’t need a label for yourself

karl : seriously like, you could be one of those “if i like you i like you” people

karl : just let yourself experiment and soon you’ll find out what you are

karl : we’re always here for you

karl : well, i am :D

dream : karl you are so

dream : GODAMN CUTE STOP IT I HATE YOU

karl : IM NOT EVEN DOING ANYTHING

dream : I WANNA HIT YOU SO BAD

sapnap : ladies ladies no fighting

dream : KARL I AM GOING TO KISS YOU.

karl : OHMYGOD STOP 😔

sapnap : LADIES

dream : sapnap you can join

sapnap : .....

sapnap : KARL YOU ARE SO FUCKING CUTE

karl : NOOO STOP

dream : LETS ALL KISS

sapnap : PLEASE KARL

karl : IM LITERALLY JUST SITTING HERE

dream : STOP SITTING SO CUTE 🤬

karl : HOW DO I EVEN DO THAT

dream : I DONT KNOW OKAY

sapnap : YOU GUYS ARE GIVING ME SUCH A HEADACHE JUST KISS ALREADY 

dream : KARL BABY LETS MARRY

karl : IM– 

karl : OKAY???

sapnap : ALL THREE OF US MARRIAGE???

dream : WOOHOOOOO YEAH BABY

george : if my phone dings one more time while i’m trying to literally stream i swear to god i’m going to break my phone

sapnap : but then you won’t be able to talk to me :(

george : thank god

sapnap : FUCK OFF

george : whatever

george : everyone hop on vc 

karl : missing us georgie?

george : more like missing you

dream : flirting

sapnap : flirting

george : flirting 👍🏼

karl : alright i’m hopping on vc 😃


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> why are people being so nice to me i’m in love with all of you  
> also i update a lot like a lot i dont even know i just update when i’m bored

karl : hey guys

sapnap : bro i’d definitely fuck a pirate 

karl : 😃 bye guys

dream : sapnap what

sapnap : think about it

sapnap : pirates

sapnap : are kind of hot

dream : are you high

sapnap : omfg no

sapnap : i just think pirates are hot 

george : pirates?? out of all things???

sapnap : yea man

sapnap : like

sapnap : they give off such a “gay for the homies” type vibe

dream : how–

dream : waitwaitwaitwait

dream : you’re telling me

dream : you’d fuck a pirate

sapnap : yes

dream : a pirate

sapnap : yes

dream : ....

dream : seriously?

sapnap : YES

sapnap : like the guy from pirates and the caribben

dream : CAPTIAN JACK SPARROW??????

george : i’m actually concerned 

sapnap : YES

sapnap : JACK SPARROW

dream : SAPNAP NO 

dream : please karl where are you

dream : come control your man please

karl : i have decided to just not speak so i do not get dragged into this

sapnap : karl jack sparrow, hot or not?

karl : thanks a lot dream

dream : HEY 

dream : ITS NOT MY FAULT

sapnap : YOU’RE TELLING ME YOU WOULDNT FUCK A PIRATE?

george : i feel they wouldn’t even realize they were doing it 

george : and then when they did they just killed you

sapnap : can u stop ruining my fantasy 

dream : ....fantasy???....

sapnap : yes.

karl : ....

george : um 😁

dream : i don’t know what to think

dream : head empty literally no thoughts

george : i’m actually worried

sapnap : you guys act like you don’t have a crush on someone weird either

sapnap : dream literally has a crush on the animated version of the grinch

george : WHAT 

karl : OMG

dream : SAPNAP WHY

dream : LISTEN HES SEXY OK

george : OH MY GOD THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE

dream : SHUT UP

karl : i literally can’t 

dream : ITS NOT MY FAULT I FIND HIM HOT

sapnap : no it literally is a mental illness to find him hot

***dream has left the chat***

sapnap : PLEASE


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is shitty but yeah LOL anyway 🏃

dream : i just remembered when sapnap drugged me

dream : like full on

dream : drugged me

karl : that’s...illegal 

sapnap : I DID NOT DRUG YOU

sapnap : you drugged yourself do not bring this up

george : wait no cause now i’m curious

dream : when sapnap came to florida

dream : he drugged me

sapnap : NO I DIDNT

sapnap : ILL TELL THE STORY

sapnap : listen so

sapnap : when i went to florida

dream : HE DRUGGED ME

sapnap : NO

sapnap : I BROUGHT THESE 

sapnap : ILLEGAL BROWNIES

dream : DRUGS

sapnap : DREAM SHUT UP

sapnap : AND I TOLD HIM I BROUGHT THEM

sapnap : AND I TOLD HIM NOT TO EAT THEM

sapnap : AND HE SAID OKAY I WONT

sapnap : THOSE EXACT WORDS

sapnap : NEXT THING I KNOW

sapnap : IM AT THE STORE AND HE CALLS ME

sapnap : AND SAYS HE ATE THE BROWNIE AND HE CANT FEEL ANYTHING 

sapnap : SO I HAVE TO LIKE ALMOST DIE DRIVING HOME

sapnap : JUST TO MAKE SURE HES OKAY

sapnap : i got home and he’s watching shrek on the couch

dream : YOU DRUGGED ME

sapnap : I TOLD YOU NOT TO FUCKING EAT IT

dream : YOU DIDNT TELL ME IT WAS WEED

dream : YOU JUST SAID NOT TO EAT IT, I GOT CURIOUS IT WAS KILLING ME

sapnap : when someone says 

sapnap : “don’t eat the brownie dream”

sapnap : YOU DONT EAT THE FUCKING BROWNIE, DREAM.

dream : HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW IT WOULDVE DRUGGED TF OUTTA ME

sapnap : WHEN I SAID “don’t touch the brownie its mine”

karl : yeah dream that was your fault

dream : you only say that because you’re on your knees for this fool 24/7

sapnap : HE IS BUT DONT BRING HIM INTO THIS

dream : i’m calling the cops on you

dream : you drugged me

dream : and i just let it slide

sapnap : I DIDNT DRUG YOU OHMYGOD

george : technically you drugged yourself dream

sapnap : HAHAHAHHAAH

sapnap : now the person thats always on their knees for you 24/7 is taking my side

sapnap : suddenly he’s on his knees for me

george : yup

sapnap : wait

dream : i...

sapnap : GEORGE JUST AGREED HES ON HIS KNEES FOR ME????

sapnap : AYO??? IM OMW???

dream : how could you george

dream : i might cry

george : send pics

dream : FUCK OFF


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> updating at two in the morning ❤️  
> i have kissed like multiple people in my comment section and i feel great very pog alright

george : *voice message*

sapnap : 🧍♂️

sapnap : what did i just

sapnap : listen to

karl : when george tried to bark but it literally sounds like he’s dying 

karl : i felt that 

george : okay

george : die

dream : what the hell

dream : i just woke up 

dream : and the first thing i hear is barking/george dying

george : you guys act like you can do any better

sapnap : don’t challenge me i’ll rock your shit

karl : i sound like a puppy when i bark

dream : i wanna hear that

sapnap : proof or it’s not true

karl : 😔

karl : *voice message*

george : THAT WAS SO CUTE

sapnap : YOU LITERALLY SOUND SO SMALL WTF

dream : oh my god my heart just nutted

dream : my turn my turn

dream : *voice message* 

george : why does yours sound like

george : a chihuahua 

sapnap : YES PERFECT DESCRIPTION OF THAT

dream : ok fuck off

sapnap : like a very deep voiced chihuahua 

dream : 😐

george : sap your turn

sapnap : everyone brace yourself

sapnap : after this you’re all gonna wanna be on ur knees for me

george : already am now go

sapnap : *voice message*

george : ...

george : why is it so

george : deep

dream : no because when did your voice get deep

karl : oh–

dream : why was that

george : kinda hot

dream : right

karl : wat 

sapnap : see see

sapnap : dream are u on ur knees

dream : i might just be 😫😫

karl : guys listen to yourselves

karl : you’re calling barking hot

george : karl shut up

karl : alrighty 👍🏼

dream : sapnap do u wanna like

dream : let me give u sloppy toppy

sapnap : i thought you’d never ask omg

george : threesome i’m omw

karl : 👨🏼💻

karl : i need a monster 

sapnap : dream ur so hot on ur knees 😫😫

karl : what flavor monster should i get

dream : only for you sapnap 🤪

karl : okay i think i’ll get the tropical 

george : guys wait don’t start without me

karl : or maybe i’ll get just white

sapnap : we won’t georgie hurry up sexy 😳

karl : i’ll get both

karl : should i get both

dream : george frfr trynna steal my spotlight 🙄

karl : okay thanks


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i update this book more then i do school work but it’s ok alright it’s fine anyway 😫  
> LITERALLY ALSO dream is right for having a crush on the grinch idc idc he’s hot i spoke from my own experience okay goodbye

dream : i remember this one time sapnap sent me a pic of him on his knees as a joke and it was hot

sapnap : why 

sapnap : are you starting a conversation with that

dream : bc i literally jerked off to it

sapnap : i-

sapnap : WHAT 😳

george : HE SWNT ME THE SAME PICTURE

george : I SCREENSHOTTED IT

sapnap : YOU SAID YOUR PHONE WAS BEING STUPID

george : IT WASNT I JUST LIKED THE PICTURE

dream : sapnap on his knees? 🤔 pog ⁉️

karl : that was so ugly

karl : but he sent me the same picture

sapnap : OH YMG DO GUYS

sapnap : WHEN I SWNT THE PCITUEE OF ME ON MY KNEES TO KARL

sapnap : HE SENT OEN BACK AND IR WAS SK WIW

george : what 😃

dream : he said when he sent the picture karl sent the same one back

george : wait

george … seriously 👁👁

sapnap : YES

sapnap : he had like a monster in his hand too it was so

sapnap : how i knew i liked men right there

karl : i was just trying to show my monster 😔

dream : ON YOUR KNEES?

karl : I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST SOME POSE

karl : I DIDNT THINK HE’D GET EXCITED FOR IT

george : i wanna see the picture

sapnap : i got u rn

dream : WIA TME TOO

karl : AJWKWJE STOP OMG

george : wow i-

dream : karl

dream : respectfully

dream : DO YOU WANT TO HAVE SEX.

karl : CALM DOWN

sapnap : you’re welcome boys

karl : thanks a lot sapnap 😔

sapnap : ur welcome babe ❤️

dream : praise sapnap

george : praise sapnap 

sapnap : yeah yeah 🙄

karl : NO PRAISING SAPNAP

karl : you guys are

karl : so

karl : different ❤️

sapnap : degrading hot im turned on you’re turned on lets just get it over with

karl : NOOOO 

dream : no you have to be like, respectful about it

dream : karl 

dream : i would like to have sexual intercourse right here right now in front of everyone do not say no okay what is your answer yes or no

karl : no

dream : …

dream : karl no you’re supposed to say yes

karl : no

dream : karl cmon 

karl : no

sapnap : 👁👁

sapnap : sure is going great for the respectful way

dream : suck my dick

sapnap : im sure you want me to

dream : i do

sapnap : oh? 😳

sapnap : packing my bags

dream : deadass?

sapnap : deadass

george : are u seriously gonna go to florida for that

sapnap : george you have to do what you have to do

dream : for sloppy toppy

sapnap : yes

sapnap : do you want to come too george

george : thats a lot of work

sapnap : ok then stick to being home straight boy 

george : literally shut up

karl : i ended up getting the tropical monster

karl : if anyone cares


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is for lia and makk you sexy unstable wives or wifes or whatever 😫

george : hello

dream : why r u so formal

george : i just said hello

george : and you’re asking a question

dream : are you going to answer it

george : i’m not formal idiot

george : i just said hello

sapnap : Hello, George. How are you on this fine morning?

george : shut up sapnap

karl : George, we’re just trying to make sure you’re having a fine morning.

sapnap : Right. What is your attitude today?

george : please shut up

karl : Do you want a kiss, George?

sapnap : No, he doesn’t. Can I have one?

karl : Yes. Kisses you very passionately.

sapnap : Can I be Sapnap Jacobs?

karl : I thought you’d never ask.

dream : why does karl always seem like the top in these situations

karl : Dream, I want to kiss you.

dream : please stop talking like that

karl : Is that rejection?

sapnap : Karl, why are you cheating on me? What did I do to deserve this?

george : why are you guys so annoying 

karl : Shut up, Georgenotfound. You’re gay.

dream : YEAH LOL

george : oh my god 

sapnap : That was unnecessarily funny, Karl.

karl : Thank you, Sapnap. I think I love you.

dream : can you guys just date

sapnap : Date George and we’ll see.

george : guess karlnap will never happen 👍🏼

dream : george literally go to sleep 

george : no 😁

sapnap : You guys are interrupting Karl and I’s love.

dream : good

karl : This is very disrespectful.

dream : good

* **sapnap removed dream***

sapnap : Okay. Where were we?

george : oh my god why did you have to remove dream i dont want to be stuck with you two

karl : Sucks to be you.

 ***george added dream***

dream : FUCK YOU SAPNAP

sapnap : I don’t know what you’re talking about, Dream.

george : i regret ever texting this groupchat 


	16. Chapter 16

***messages between dream and karl***

dream : hello karl jacobs

karl : oh god

dream : HEY

dream : WDYM OH GOD

dream : FUCK OFF 

karl : you never text me outside of the groupchat

karl : and even in the groupchat you’re a piece of work

karl : i’m scared to see why you’re texting me now

dream : 😐 you know i hate you so much

karl : :o that hurt my feelings

dream : good

dream : i need help

karl : with what

dream : men

karl : oh my god

karl : why is it always me

karl : cant you ask sapnap he’s literally bi

dream : he hasn’t been bi long enough

dream : i need a gay 🥶‼️

karl : ok

karl : which men are we talking about

dream : color blind men

karl : oh so georgenotfound

dream : no

dream : ok yea

karl : oh this is easy

karl : tell him you like him

dream : i wanna hit you

dream : he’s literally straight 

dream : so am i

karl : god you’re like sapnap 2.0

dream : i hate you karl

karl : nice

karl : so anyway

karl : what’s wrong with georgenotfound

dream : karl help me figure out if i like penis

karl : jesus christ 

karl : how do i do that

dream : 😳😏

karl : this block button...looks so good right now hmmm

dream : ok fuck you

dream : dude i literally 

dream : have a fat ass crush on georgenotfound

dream : but i’m straight

karl : WHAT 😃

dream : yeah

karl : it doesnt work that way

karl : so you like men

dream : no

dream : i like georgenotfound

karl : um...

karl : ???

karl : so you like men 😃

dream : dude no

dream : i have zero attractions to other men

dream : except for sapnap

dream : and you i’ll admit

karl : :o 

karl : so you’re just gay for the homies

dream : yeah but too gay

dream : wayy too gay

karl : why do you need me to tell you your sexuality 

karl : i literally just told you you like men

karl : and ur like “no”

dream : BECAUSE I ONLY LIKE THREE MEN

karl : THATS STILL MEN DREAM

dream : OFC IT IS BUT IM STRAIGHT

karl : NO YOURE LITERALLY NOT 

karl : ITS COMMON SENSE

dream : ykw

dream : you’re useless

dream : i’m asking sapnap

karl : hes going to say the same thing

dream : no he won’t he always tells me the truth

karl : mkayyy

dream : ...

dream : ok he said the same thing

karl : I TOLD YOU


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gonna be 100% honest, i have no idea where i’m going with this book like i have no idea at all 😁  
> also this chapter fucking sucks  
> barely has any funny in it it’s just serious which i suck at but yeah ok

_***messages between sapnap, dream and george*** _

sapnap : i think i’m gonna tell karl

dream : about what

sapnap : ....

dream : OHHH

dream : OH OH

george : how’re you gonna do it 

sapnap : idk

sapnap : i’m just tired of like

sapnap : knowing he’s talking to some guy

sapnap : and he keeps like talking abt him in private dms

sapnap : and it just doesn’t feel good lol

dream : :/ 

dream : i’m sorry sap

sapnap : dude it’s fine

sapnap : i’m most likely just gonna tell him

sapnap : maybe in the gc or something 

dream : are you sure you want us to be there

sapnap : i mean i don’t care

sapnap : i know you guys won’t make fun of me for getting rejected or something 

sapnap : atleast i dont think

george : we wouldn’t 

dream : yeah definitely not that’s just like

dream : not cool 

sapnap : yeah

sapnap : i’m gonna do it

george : good luck

dream : we’re here for you

***three bottoms one top***

sapnap : karl

sapnap : karl jacobs

sapnap : karl

dream : karl karl

george : KARL

karl : hi guys

dream : hi karl 

george : hello karl

sapnap : hi karl

karl : what’s up

sapnap : are we like

sapnap : are you busy rn

karl : um

karl : not currently why

dream : what does not currently mean

karl : like not right now

karl : i have a date in like ten minutes though

sapnap : oh

sapnap : okay

sapnap : nvm then

karl : noooo whats up

sapnap : uh

sapnap : ok

sapnap : so like LMAO

karl : ???

dream : it’s good sapnap you’re good

george : ^^

sapnap : karl we’re best friends right

karl : yes??

sapnap : and like 

sapnap : we wouldn’t stop being bestfriends

sapnap : correct

karl : ofc not!

karl : unless you’re like

karl : mean to me or something 

karl : but you’re rlly nice to me so it’s okay :)

sapnap : okay

sapnap : karl i have feelings for you

sapnap : like romantic ones

sapnap : i wanted to tell you because i didn’t wanna keep up with the stuff anymore 

sapnap : i didn’t wanna be the only one who meant the flirting i guess

karl : oh

sapnap : yeah

karl : um

karl : i don’t know what to say

karl : i’m sorry sap

sapnap : no it’s okay

sapnap : i knew you didn’t feel the same i just wanted to let you know

sapnap : i don’t want this to affect our friendship

sapnap : you’re my bestfriend 

karl : it won’t :)

karl : a tiny crush won’t affect anything it’s fine sap

sapnap : okay

sapnap : have fun of your date :)

dream : have fun karl 

george : have fun, don’t crush it loser

karl : thanks sapnap

karl : thanks guys

sapnap : :)

_***messages between sapnap, dream and george*** _

dream : nice job sap

dream : proud of you

george : yeah what dream said

sapnap : thanks guys

sapnap : love you

dream : love you too

george : ^^


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know what im doing with this book now false alarm everyone LMAOOOOO

***messages between karl and dream***

karl : hey

dream : oH gOd

karl : shut up 

dream : sorry 🙄

dream : what’s up

karl : i think sapnaps mad at me

dream : karl its been

dream : not even 24 hours since he confessed

dream : are you surprised hes mad at you

karl : i mean i guess not but like

karl : why is he mad

dream : are you-

dream : karl 

dream : god ur an idiot

karl : ???

dream : dude he has a crush on you

dream : and you're asking why hes mad

dream : YOU REJECTED HIM

dream : and ur wondering why hes mad

karl : what was i supposed to do??

karl : i didnt wanna just set him up 

dream : i honestly dont believe you dont like him

dream : you can say you dont and thats fine

dream : but you two are more then friends and you need to realize that

karl : i dont have feelings for him though

dream : okay well

dream : if you flirted with me as much as you flirted with him i'd have a crush on you too

dream : dial it down

dream : you gave him multiple mixed signals that i honestly believed you liked him back

karl : i feel bad

karl : we usually talk all day every day

karl : we havent talked yet

dream : karl me and george dont even text everyday

dream : and we're bestfriends

karl : dont you like him

dream : shut up

dream : what im saying is

dream : you do very gay couple shit together

karl : you and george are worse

dream : george ignores me all the time

dream : he literally doesnt show the same energy so i barely do it anymore

karl : you should tell him

dream : and have a sapnap x karl moment?? no

karl : LOW BLOW MAN

dream : i hope it hurt your feelings

dream : all im saying is give him time

dream : you dont expect him to confess to u and go back to normal old sapnap

karl : i guess not

karl : i just didnt know it was like serious

dream : karl sapnap barely likes people

dream : hes literally such a whore its wild

dream : give him time

karl : he seemed so like

karl : unbothered in the gc

karl : he even told me to have fun on the date

dream : of course he would

dream : who wouldnt

dream : he just told you he likes you ten minutes before you're gonna go out and stick your tongue down someone elses throat

karl : i dont do that shut up

dream : and u were like "sorry lol" 

karl : STOP

dream : LMAO sorry 

karl : i hate you

karl : so much

dream : thanks cutie love u too

karl : :/


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey hotties

sapnap : i think i just saw my moms church pastor in a crack alley???

dream : um

dream : what

sapnap : i was walking just around

george : since when do you walk

sapnap : and he was there

sapnap : and we made eye contact and he looked

sapnap : horrible 

karl : isn’t it like 2am for you why are you walking

sapnap : dunno

george : are you going to tell your mom

sapnap : hell no

sapnap : my mom would ruin that mans life

dream : let the man do crack in peace

sapnap : atleast now i have blackmail for when he tries to call me a slur again

karl : that’s.. mean

sapnap : lol 

george : you should’ve joined him

sapnap : and ruined my blackmailing material??? no

dream : that man is just gonna be chilling and you’re gonna be like “remember when you were doing crack in an alley”

sapnap : and what abt it

sapnap : thats what he gets for doing crack in an alley and not in his own home

george : what if he wasn’t even doing crack and was just in the crack alley

sapnap : nobodys gonna believe he was just in the crack alley

dream : god you’re so smart 

sapnap : i know 😩

george : eh he’s alright

george : anybody would’ve done that

karl : i wouldn’t 

dream : cause you’re some goody two shoes

karl : no i’m not its just mean 🙄

dream : so are you but we don’t say anything 

dream : right sapnap you’d know more then anyone

sapnap : lol yeah

dream : see

karl : ok shush 🙏

dream : SEE

george : dreamwastaken gets repeatedly bullied by karljacobs and won’t stop being a baby about it?!? (TEA)

dream : i hate you

dream : so much 😐

sapnap : dreamwastaken repeatedly bullies georgenotfound in hopes it’ll hide he’s in love with him?!? (EMOTIONAL) 

dream : dreamwastaken wants both georgenotfound and sapnap to shut up (FUNNY) 

sapnap : ugh ok only for u sexy 

george : GAY LOL

dream : ....

sapnap : ....

karl : ....

george : ???

sapnap : y’all hear sum

dream : i ain’t hear nun 

karl : yeah me neither 

george : ok shut up idiots

sapnap : george in all honesty 

sapnap : when i first met you i literally thought you were 💅

karl : i did too 

dream : ^

george : how do i leave this 

dream : you’re such a grandpa

george : you love me

dream : gay LOL

george : 😐 nvm

sapnap : aw the couple is fighting

dream : it’s his fault he’s a bitch

george : i’m going to block you

dream : i’ll show up to england do not test me

george : i won’t let you in

dream : i’ll break in

sapnap : can you guys just kiss already 


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no bc why did i literally get locked out of my discord like i cannot get back in and i’ve just been vibing?? now i got my discord spouses just alone and i literally cant get in?? might sue?? now i have to make a new one?? for what??

***private messages between karl and sapnap***

karl : hey

sapnap : hi

karl : how’ve you been?

sapnap : um alright i guess

sapnap : you?

karl : i’ve been alright

sapnap : nice

karl : yeah

karl : i miss you

karl : sorry 

sapnap : no it’s ok

sapnap : i miss you too 

karl : i’m sorry for what happened yk

karl : i just really miss you and i know i have to give you space but i can’t really do that when you’re my bestfriend and i’ve been having to text dream instead and its not fun because dream isn’t you

karl : sorry

sapnap : i got replaced with dream?

sapnap : wow karl

sapnap : never thought you’d go that low

karl : you were ignoring me

karl : i had to

sapnap : i wasn’t purposely ignoring you

sapnap : well

sapnap : ok i was

sapnap : i just thought it’d be awkward

karl : i told you it wouldn’t change anything 

sapnap : i’ve been told that before

sapnap : and i lost them

sapnap : so i guess i wanted to ignore you and not possibly waste my time still texting you for you to just start ghosting me 

karl : sap :/

karl : you’re my bestfriend

karl : i can’t lose you 

karl : i mean dreams nice but i wasn’t about to replace you with him

karl : i need you, sapnap. not dream, not george, you

karl : i wasn’t about to ghost you because of some crush

karl : plus why would i? i’m not some asshole

sapnap : woah, karl jacobs just cursed????

karl : oh shut up

karl : just promise me we’re gonna be normal

karl : promise me seriously this time

karl : promise me if i do something that might cross the line you’ll tell me instead of going along with it

sapnap : i promise :) 

sapnap : i don’t wanna loss you either

sapnap : i’m sorry for being stupid

karl : you weren’t being stupid

karl : ok you kinda were

karl : but i get it

karl : i realize how much stuff i did that was kind of out of line

karl : i would flirt and then talk about this new guy

karl i’m sorry about that

sapnap : no no it’s fine

sapnap : i’m happy to hear the stuff about your new guy

sapnap : just because i have this stupid crush on you doesn’t mean i don’t wanna hear about it

sapnap : just, don’t think about it. and i won’t either, i’m a strong mf, i’ll get through it 🥶‼️🤝

karl : LOL stop 😔

karl : i missed you, sap

sapnap : and i missed you too, karl sapnap

karl : karl sapnap??? 🤨

sapnap : we’re still married 

sapnap : hopefully 

karl : sadly 

sapnap : alright i’m blocking you 💔


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for sucking so bad at updating i have just had like no motivation and school is kicking my ass i mean seriously might just use an app for all my work and go ANYWAYS heres ur chapter yeah  
> also i have this like sapnap x dream type beat sad onesht thing and like i read it multiple times and it didnt seem too bad but i also don’t know if i should post it cuz my writing skills suck it’s kind of just yeah anyway ok

***private messages between karl and dream***

karl : hey

dream : ...

dream : why are u still texting me i thought you had sapnap back

karl : i do have sapnap back

karl : can’t a guy wanna talk to his friend

dream : 🤨 this is suspicious 

karl : okay listen

dream : knew it

karl : SHUT UP

karl : yk that boy i told the gc abt yk

karl : well we’re dating yk

dream : what

dream : since when why weren’t any of us informed 

karl : for like a week anyway

karl : how do i get out of it 😁

dream : get out of ur week relationship? 😭

karl : yes please he makes me super uncomfortable 

karl : everything he does is just..

karl : i told him i didn’t like that yk dirty stuff and he still hints at it and stuff

dream : SO YOU ARE ASEXUAL

karl : i don’t even know ok

karl : just the thought of it is so gross though

karl : and he just 😔 like idk

karl : am i being weird

dream : no of course not

dream : you told him you had boundaries and he still won’t respect them

dream : if you’re uncomfortable you have reasoning to break up with him 

karl : so i’m not being weird?

dream : ofc not

dream : if anything you’re just doing what’s right

karl : right

karl : ok

karl : so how do i do it

dream : do what

karl : break it off

dream : why are u asking me

karl : it’s not like you’ve been single all your life 

dream : um

dream : “you’re a dick who won’t respect my boundaries so i’m breaking up with u lol bitch”

karl : ok no

dream : “you’re a jerk who won’t respect my boundaries so i’m breaking up with u lol bitch” ?

karl : god no you replaced ONE word

dream : i want drama or something sorry mr peace maker

karl : how about “i don’t feel comfortable in this relationship, maybe it’s not good to be in one” 

dream : that makes u sound like a jerk too

dream : its basically like “i dont feel comfortable in this relationship so i dont wanna fucking be in it anymore”

karl : NO IT DOESNT

dream : it does

dream : “i dont feel comfortable in this relationship and i think maybe it’s best we stay just friends”

karl : :o

karl : wait thats good

dream : that was literally so simple karl

karl : sorry i didn’t wanna sound mean mr green boy

dream : alright baby whatever you say

karl : baby???????

dream : oh sorry i didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable 

karl : NONO you didn’t 

karl : was just surprised

karl : i like it :)

dream : godamnit you’re cute

karl : :o

***private messages between george and dream***

dream : HELP ME?!?€!2!2!£>€{£]2{2

george : what

george : the hell

dream : HELP

george : dude what

dream : HELPPPP ME

george : with what

dream : I CALLED SAPNAPS MAN BABY 😔

george : sapnaps man?

george : oh

george : OHAHHAAH YOU DID NOT

dream : I DID AND HE GOT ALL CUTE AND NOW WHAT IF I GET FEELINGS FOR SAPNAPS STUPID PG MAN

george : hope sapnap hates you

dream : GOD YOU SUCK

george : if u fall for him you fall for him

george : he is cute so

george : wait aren’t u straight???

dream : HAVENT WE ESTABLISHED IM NOT 🙄

george : yeah before you even did

dream : shut 

dream : the fuck up 

george : suck it green boy

dream : oh?? omw 😩??

george : nope im out nope going to sleep

dream : sigh

dream : you’re no help to me at all


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> how many times do i have to watch a “how myct streamers would react to you coming out as trans” in front of my father before he realizes 😐 BYE

***private messaging between sapnap and dream***

dream : hey sap

sapnap : dream 😩

dream : can i talk to you about something 

sapnap : fuck

sapnap : what does that mean

dream : dude calm down its nothing serious 

sapnap : thank fuck i can’t do serious conversations 

dream : ok it kinda is

sapnap : DUDE

dream : IM SORRY OKAY

dream : listen

dream : hypothetically 

dream : key word, hypothetically 

sapnap : you literally only said hypothetically 

sapnap : how is there a key word

dream : sapnap listen

dream : KEY WORD

sapnap : KEY WORD HYPOTHETICALLY I KNOW

dream : HYPOTHETICALLY 

sapnap : oh my fucking god

dream : hypothetically 

dream : what would happen if i developed feelings for karl jacobs

sapnap : why did you say his full name

dream : why is that what you’re worried about

sapnap : are you sure this is hypothetically speaking

dream : hypothetically 

sapnap : 🤨

sapnap : dude i don’t care

sapnap : this isnt hypothetically speaking is it

dream : and if it wasnt

sapnap : then good for you man

sapnap : you guys have seemed like you’ve gotten close

dream : but

dream : wait

dream : you wouldn’t care 🤨

sapnap : nah 

sapnap : plus you guys would actually be hot together

dream : cause of me yeah

sapnap : dont get all cocky green boy

dream : die

dream : anyway

dream : so you’re not mad

sapnap : no 

sapnap : seriously i couldn’t care less

sapnap : question is, wouldn’t you be weirded out that your bestfriend likes your boyfriend 

dream : he’s not my boyfriend 

sapnap : hypothetically then 😩

dream : no i couldn’t care less either

dream : worst comes to worse we poly it out

sapnap : oh? 😳

dream : i said exactly what i said

sapnap : suddenly i have the fattest crush on karl jacobs and i think we should poly it out

dream : suddenly i have the fattest crush on both of you??? 

sapnap : no because let’s just have sexual intercourse

dream : suddenly i am on my way to texas


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one is so long bye  
> also this one is for my bae and our pet sloth bamboo and pet snakes ace and hades, we a family <3

karl : hey guys

karl : i'm probably gonna be offline a lot more

karl : just wanted to tell you guys

dream : no karl dont leave me

sapnap : why are you gonna be offline

karl : i dont know

karl : just not feeling nice rn

sapnap : what happened??

karl : nothing :) its fine 

dream : tell us what happened or im showing up to ur front porch

sapnap : me too

karl : um ok

karl : remember the guy i broke up with?

karl : well after i started ignoring him he kinda just got like :/

karl : hes been a jerk and i know i shouldnt listen to him because we were together for a literal week only but it still doesnt feel good and idk

sapnap : karl :(

sapnap : block him rn

karl : but hes nice like im sure hes just mad cause i broke up with him its okay :)

dream : karl please block him he doesnt deserve to still be able to be in contact with you

sapnap : please karl

dream : BLOCK HIM

sapnap : BLOCK HIM KARL

karl : OKAY OKAY

karl : I BLOCKED HIM

dream : good

dream : dont listen to him ok, you dont need him 

sapnap : hes a dick anyway

sapnap : i mean seriously get a life weirdo

dream : seriously, its almost embarrassing

sapnap : it IS embarrassing

karl : :) thanks guys

sapnap : of course karl

dream : we love u 

karl : love u guys too 

karl : kiss kiss

dream : kiss kiss

george : i just woke up whats going on

***private messaging between sapnap and dream***

sapnap : you literally suck at hiding the fact that u like him

sapnap : you sound like ur head over heels in love

dream : SAYS YOU ASSHOLE

sapnap : you were literally extra gay today

sapnap : i'm so surprised

sapnap : i wouldnt even be surprised if he knew

dream : dont say that 

dream : is it rlly that obvious

sapnap : ....

sapnap : you told him you loved him 

sapnap : when do u ever do that

dream : wait

dream : fuck you're right

sapnap : when am i not 

sapnap : dude you should just tell him

dream : but what if that ruins everything

sapnap : i told him and it didnt ruin anything

sapnap : we still talk like everyday

dream : yeah but there was still that time where you guys ignored eachother

sapnap : it was like a day atleast 

dream : ugh

dream : yeah you're right

dream : maybe i'll tell him

sapnap : wait before you do

sapnap : are you sure you have like

sapnap : real feelings for him

dream : ???

sapnap : like do you think you're gonna like him a month from now?

sapnap : two months from now?

dream : dude

dream : if i didnt think so i wouldnt be thinking abt telling him

sapnap : when are you gonna do it

dream : um

dream : i have no idea

dream : maybe tommorow, if i dont pussy out

dream : you'll be there right?

sapnap : of course dude

dream : and you're SURE you're ok with this

sapnap : yes dream i'm sure

dream : alright

dream : tomorrow then

sapnap : tommorow

sapnap : wait ima need a time what if its napping hour

dream : man shut up and go to sleep 


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> do ppl frfr actually like this book bc idk LMAOOO anyway  
> also sorry for such late updates, been busy with school and shit so, hope you enjoy this one tho <3

***private messages between dream and sapnap***

sapnap : hey dickhead

dream : love u too sap

sapnap : shut up

sapnap : you're doing it 

sapnap : yeah?

dream : i guess so man

sapnap : yk you dont have to right?

sapnap : i mean seriously you could just keep it to yourself

dream : too much work

dream : i wanna get it out

dream : to him though

sapnap : okay

sapnap : do i have time to nap

dream : i was gonna make the groupchat now but sure 

sapnap : no wait then make it so i can just nap all day until its like 12

dream : is that even healthy

sapnap : why would i know?

dream : why wouldnt you know what you do to your body sapnap

sapnap : im barely passing school dream

sapnap : you realize i have no time to look up if its healthy

dream : you're so annoying

sapnap : i love you too <3

dream : im making this stupid groupchat

***messages between dream, sapnap, karl***

sapnap : hey gays

sapnap : oops sorry guys*

dream :

sapnap : why do you hate me so much

dream : <3

karl : hi guys!!

sapnap : HI KARL

dream : hi karl :)

sapnap : ...

sapnap : let me just keep my mouth shut

dream : i swear to god i will beat you repeatedly if you dont 

sapnap : oh?

dream : NO NOT OH STFU

karl : whats going on?

sapnap : dream has something to say

karl : then why are you here

dream : damn #burned

sapnap : wtf did u just...ok

sapnap : im here for support or whatever idk man ask dream

dream : support

dream : now anyway

dream : spotlight on me plz 

sapnap : continue

dream : karl

dream : karl jacobs

sapnap : karl sapnap

dream : ...

sapnap :)

dream : KARL

karl : sorry sorry

karl : i was getting my food whats up

dream : ur not home?

karl : no i am

karl : doordash dummy

dream : sigh i wanted you to like crash or something dramatic when i told you

sapnap : you wanted him to crash

sapnap : possibly die

sapnap : bc you told him

sapnap : ok

karl : told me what

dream : karl i have

dream : begun attached to you kind sir 

karl : is that a good or bad thing

sapnap : bad. horrible. so so bad.

dream : nick i swear to god

sapnap : ...

sapnap : sounds like u wanna kiss but maybe i could be wrong idk idk idk

dream : literally please shut up 

karl : what is happening

dream : oh my god karl

dream : dude i like you

dream : like romantically

dream : feelings

sapnap : gays smh

dream : ur literally gayer then us

sapnap : too far.

karl : ok wait what

sapnap : OMFG DREAM HAS FEELINGS FOR YOU DUMBASS

sapnap : ROMANTIC FEELINGS.

karl : OH

dream : I LITERALLY SAID ROMANTIC FEELINGS KARL

karl : IM SORRY OK

karl : but like

karl : okay

karl : what about like sapnap

sapnap : yeah dream what abt me

sapnap : wait

sapnap : is that you rejecting him or is that you like "omg lets kiss"

dream : im getting both rn

dream : worst comes to worse we poly it out karl

karl : oh

karl : ok

sapnap : wait

sapnap : UR AGREEING?

karl : sure

karl : why not

karl : gonna be 100% honest im so happy i wasnt the one who had to do this

karl : but i actually started liking sapnap a little after i rejected him

karl : and then dream came and i was like oh honk

sapnap : wait a damn minute

sapnap : WHAT is happening

dream : WAIT

dream : yeah honestly what IS happening

karl : omg

karl : guys im saying if u wanna poly it out we should

dream : WHAT

sapnap : WAIT HUH

karl : ...

karl : ill give u a minute to reread the message

dream : ok so

dream : are we abt to poly it out?

karl : sapnap?

sapnap : wait so

sapnap : wait

sapnap : bro wtf lets do it

dream : POLY?? IT OUT???

sapnap : yolo amirite

karl : :)

dream : wait are we like

dream : does this mean im gaying together with sapnap ew

sapnap : thanks boyfriend 

dream : <3

sapnap : now we plan a meet up

sapnap : with dream and his florida shoes ugh love them

dream : SHUT UP OK THEY ARE RELIABLE

karl : well now that thats over with

karl : i might go to sleep for the first time in days

karl : goodnight boyfriends <3

sapnap : goodnight boyfriend 

dream : goodnight boyfriend <3

sapnap : simp

dream : ur in this relationship sapnap

sapnap : simp.

karl : you're both simps shut up

sapnap : not me u will never catch me slipping

dream : sapnap i have screenshots

sapnap : ...

sapnap : nvm

dream : exactly

sapnap : whatever 

sapnap : goodnight ugly

dream : goodnight sap

dream : <3

sapnap : ... <3

dream : WOOHOO 


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk why but i despise spaghetti, okay enjoy this i guess  
> also happy birthday to sapnap!!! his birthday stream was so cute

***three bottoms, one top***

sapnap : hello 

dream : oh no

dream : what does that mean

sapnap : I SAID ONE WORD

sapnap : anyway guess what today is

george : the day you all shut up and let me get my peace and quiet?

sapnap : no

george : fuck

dream : sapnap is officially the big twenty

sapnap : HELL YEAH

sapnap : i feel so powerful right now

karl : happy birthday sap :) 

sapnap : thank you baby <3

dream : happy birthday ugly let’s have hardcore sex

dream : as a birthday present you can top

sapnap : i top everytime shut up

george : happy birthday sapnap 

sapnap : george

sapnap : do you wanna like

sapnap : aggressively make out

dream : i do

sapnap : george

dream : no i do

george : sure sapnap why not

dream : wtf

sapnap : george ur so sexy

dream : karl tell our boyfriend to stop ignoring me

karl : sapnap stop ignoring dream

sapnap : dream we can aggressively make out too babe 

dream : so i’m second choice

dream : ok

sapnap : yeah ofc its george 

dream : george is ugly i’m so dissapointed in you

karl : sapnap turned twenty and chose georgenotfound

sapnap : ong 🥶‼️💪

dream : that was my 13th reason

sapnap : why do i have to be alone for my birthday 

sapnap : why aren’t you all just like my roommates

dream : that would be

dream : different 

sapnap : i could finally find out if dream is actually as top as he says he is 🤔

sapnap : and you cant say no cuz its my birthday and if you do you’re just a horrible person

dream : yeah but what if i wanna say no

karl : then you’re a horrible person

dream : can’t karl do it

sapnap : karl has been a bottom as soon as i met him i don’t need proof i already know

karl : hes right lol

dream : karl doesn’t even like sex tho so honestly it doesn’t count

karl : hes also right

sapnap : yeah that just makes it obvious it’s your turn

dream : this isn’t fair

sapnap : how is it not fair its my birthday and you’re declining i might start crying

dream : send pics??

sapnap : maybe 🙄

karl : send them to me too

dream :👀

dream : why do you want pics of sapnap crying huh karl

karl : no reason

sapnap : leave karl alone he wants jerk off material

dream : is this true karl

karl : i hate you too sometimes

sapnap : thats a yes

george : definitely a yes

dream : and i thought karl was innocent 

sapnap : karl has never been innocent he’s just good at hiding his horny side

karl : STOP

dream : karl being horny for sapnap confirmed?!?! 

dream : be horny 4 me karl

karl : i hate it here so much 😔

sapnap : no you don’t how could you hate your two hot sexy amazing boyfriends 

dream : boyfriend* and thats me

dream : sapnaps just ugly

sapnap : its my birthday dream wtf

dream : oh right sorry

dream : sapnap is just so wow like yk hes so hot

sapnap : thx we know 🙄

george : that was so sarcastic sapnap how could you fall for that

sapnap : i know it was sarcastic i just dont wanna think abt that rn </3

dream : it wasnt sarcastic i swear

sapnap : no shut up

sapnap : karl am i sexy

karl : yes :D

sapnap : you make me so happy thank you 

sapnap : see dream how hard is that

dream : I DID THAT AND UR CALLING IT SARCASM

dream : HIS COULD BE SARCASM TOO

sapnap : karl was yours sarcasm

karl : of course not sap 

dream : i hate both of you

karl : :(

dream : i don’t hate you nvm

dream : just sapnap

karl : :)

sapnap : ur the one who was being sarcastic with it i be trynna love you and shit

dream : YOU DO NOT

dream : you literally bully me 24/7

sapnap : I DO NOT

dream : its even worse that i wake up every morning to a facetime call from you, just for you to call me a bitch every morning

dream : i be half asleep and ur screaming at the phone to wake up

sapnap : look i do that for karl too 

karl : he does it’s disgusting 

sapnap : see its a sign of my love

dream : ur not george you bitch, show me love in a normal way

george : hey, fuck you 

dream : oh?

george : karl and sap get your mans 

karl : we try 😔

sapnap : ykw i’m officially okay with spending my birthday alone i hate you three

dream : love you too babe

karl : ^

george : ^^?

sapnap : karldreamnapnotfound 

dream : so ugly

sapnap : kinda has a ring to it?

george : i’m going to sleep


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this actually happened to me which makes this chapter funnier so have fun reading this

sapnap : guys help me

dream : oh my god what did you do

sapnap : so its like ten am

sapnap : and my mom left for work 

sapnap : so i went downstairs in the basement and i saw this like blunt

sapnap : that WASNT mine

dream : ur mom throwing it down ‼️

sapnap : so i was like yoo and took like five puffs and went on with my morning

sapnap : i’m in the MIDDLE of making bacon and all of the sudden i get dizzy and i my stomach starts hurting and my ears like got clogged up? and my head was like all fuzzy

sapnap : and i’m like oh fuck i’m so dead

sapnap : and then my mom walks into the house and is like “hey i work at five not ten”

dream : OH MY GODDDD BYE

sapnap : and i’m over at the stove like 🧍‍♂️ trying not to literally fall down

sapnap : and she like comes next to me and stares me down while im making bacon so im trying to keep my eyes open and im trying not to literally fall and shes like 👁👁

sapnap : finally i’m like hey i dont feel so good i gotta go sit down and i IMMEDIATELY ran to my couch when she said sure

sapnap : i dont know what to do im in my room rn and i have class in like an hour

karl : are you actually okay

sapnap : this isnt helping

sapnap : oh my god i’m so fried i might literally like die

karl : you’re not gonna die

dream : just lay down

sapnap : dude i am

dream : oh then ur dead

sapnap : THAT DIDNT HELP

sapnap : i should’ve fell and then you’d regret not helping

dream : no seriously though, are you okay 

sapnap : i still feel sorta like dizzy?? but i’m ok

karl : we told you to quit smoking

karl : you said you would why havent you yet

sapnap : listen it was just last puffs

dream : your last puffs were literally dangerous just quit please

sapnap : but then i’ll lose my funny 💔💔💔

dream : sapnap you’ve never HAD funny

sapnap : WOW

sapnap : why do you laugh at my jokes all the time

sapnap : yesterday you were laughing so hard and i know because karl was there too

karl : that was funny

dream : laughed just so you’d whipped your pp out

dream : plot twist, he DID?!?!?! 👀😳📲

sapnap : STOP IT THAT WAS PRIVATE OH MY GOD

karl : WHEN

sapnap : NOTHING 😁

dream : sapnap jerked off on call with us yesterday 

george : HE WHAT

karl : US???????

sapnap : YOU WERE ASLEEP AND ON DEAFEN WE JUST DID IT OK

dream : he started it

sapnap : you told me to whip it out

dream : AS A JOKE 

sapnap : YOU STARTED THE JERKING

dream : ...

dream : ok true but still

karl : i still can’t believe i could’ve undeafened to you too having phone things

dream : you were so knocked i doubted it

george : so how did you guys manage to get from sapnaps story to phone sex

george : also is sapnap okay

sapnap : everything is just really funny like really funny 

dream : hes just super high now

karl : but he promised he would stop so

george : and we believe it?

sapnap : hey fuck you 

george : okay whatever you want

sapnap : george letting me top⁉️

george : no

george : 🥰

sapnap : you’re missing out on some great pp

george : please shut up

sapnap : dream can confirm

dream : just bc i saw it doesn’t mean anything 

sapnap : how could you right now

dream : love u 

sapnap : no die

dream : you are going to be the reason i turn homophobic 

sapnap : we are in a relationship 

sapnap : a poly at that

dream : i can still be homophobic towards you

dream : not karl he deserves the world

sapnap : simp

dream : leave me and my simp tendencies alone

george : you’re ALL gonna be the reason i’m homophobic if you guys don’t shut up and let me sleep

dream : sorry georgie we didn’t mean to interrupt your gay sleep

george : it’s sleep how could it be gay

sapnap : is it being gay a problem 

dream : sensing some homophobia right now 🤔

george : oh my god shut up

dream : he didnt deny it????

sapnap : georgenotfound homophobic?!?! *PROOF*

sapnap : i’m getting dressed and my mom just walked in my room for like a second just to leave what the fuck

dream : im gonna expose you

dream : im gonna call her and tell her

sapnap : i will cry

dream : you say that and yet i still get no pics 

sapnap : because you’re just gonna jerk to them and im gonna just be having a whole breakdown

dream : its how i comfort 💔😔

george : listen here gay boys

george : shut up

sapnap : why did that scream homophobia oh my god

dream : sounding a lil too much like my grandmother

sapnap : HELP YOU DID NOT

karl : omg-

george : bye i’m done


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! i just wanted to say that i really appreciate the support i get on this shitty book, i especially appreciate the friends i’ve made because of this shitty book, i couldn’t do it without them so yeah, alright, enjoy :D

george : i just had a sex dream

sapnap : ooo about who

george : i don’t know

george : but they definitely were not female

sapnap : you had a sex dream with a GUY???

sapnap : but you’re straight

george : it was a sex dream sapnap

george : i looked it up and it said its normal

sapnap : wait so let me ask you something

sapnap : would you have sex with a male irl

george : what

sapnap : reread

george : ykw

george : yeah sure

george : it wasn’t necessarily gross

dream : 👁👁

sapnap : but you’re straight

george : guess not

dream : WHAT

george : i had a sex dream about a guy

george : and i wouldn’t mind doing it irl

george : i’m not you dream i know thats definitely fruity

sapnap : FRUITYSNAJNE

dream : okay fuck you

sapnap : wait so george what are you

george : not straight

sapnap : we know george

sapnap : whats your sexuality 

george : i don’t know

george : i don’t wanna label myself

sapnap : oh my god finally i’ve been waiting for this moment

sapnap : george you are the light of my life lets kiss romantically 

george : i’ll throw up

sapnap : wow

sapnap : i just confessed and you’re throwing me off

karl : i decided to redo my whole room

karl : and now i’m reading george is like fruity

dream : how are you redoing your room and texting us

karl : i’m very good at multitasking 

sapnap : oh are you?

karl : yes :D

sapnap : hm interesting

karl : so george is one of us now

dream : a gay yeah

george : i’m gonna steal karl from you two now

sapnap : i will come for you british boy

dream : steal sapnap instead we don’t need him

sapnap : FUCK YOU

george : sapnap is

george : gross

sapnap : what did i do for this hate

sapnap : i’ve been nothing but nice

dream : its how we show our love babe

sapnap : NO BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHATS FUNNY

sapnap : dream is SO simpy in private

karl : i can comfirm

karl : yesterday he spent like an hour calling me pretty

dream : CAUSE YOU'RE PRETTY

sapnap : literally dream is always simping for me in private dms

sapnap : and then the gc opens and hes being a bitch

dream : this is a lie

sapnap : *image*

sapnap : on god?

george : IM WOW

george : "you're so pretty sap"

dream : NOOO

karl : sapnaps responses

karl : "shut up weirdo"

george : WHY DO YOU KEEP GOING AFTER HE INSULTS YOU

dream : i cant see im blind lol sorry

sapnap : i have so much more

dream : STOP IT

karl : thought you were blind?

dream : SHUT UP

dream : i cant believe this im never simping in private again

sapnap : dont even get me started on what he says in calls

karl : OH MY GOD HES SO SAPPY IN CALLS

dream : FUCK YOU GUYS

dream : get in a poly they said

dream : it'll be fun they said

sapnap : well you're stuck now

dream : die

sapnap : you see

sapnap : this bullying

george : you deserve it

sapnap : george you literally cant get a visa i dont wanna hear it

george : okay too far

sapnap : love u babe

george : gross

sapnap : okay fuck off so hard

karl : its ok sap i love you

sapnap : see atleast i have karl

sapnap : he is so cute

dream : simp

sapnap : i will send another screenshot

dream : please dont im sorry

sapnap : mm 

sapnap : idk i kinda want to 

dream : ill do anything please

sapnap : anything?

dream : not anything

dream : a few things

sapnap : hm

sapnap : ok fine

george : can you guys just stop being gay and join vc

sapnap : aw georgie do you miss me

george : yes

george : a lot now join

sapnap : OH?


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've been updating this so quick for what

sapnap : day two of trying to get george to love me

george : literally leave me alone

sapnap : we’re in a toxic relationship guys i swear he loves me

george : no i don’t 

sapnap : george just admit you love me 

george : no

dream : i don’t think he loves you sapnap

sapnap : leave me alone i can still try

george : stop trying

sapnap : can you just

sapnap : accept it

dream : come on georgenotfound you can join our poly

george : i’ll spit on you

dream : on me or in my mouth

george : i’m ignoring that

sapnap : think about it like this

sapnap : karl is in the poly

karl : what’s going on

sapnap : karl, george won’t confess his undying love for me 

george : i don’t have love for you 

george : only karl

sapnap : karl tell george to realize hes gay for all of us so we can poly it out 😫

karl : george 

george : karl

karl : sapnap told me to tell you to realize you’re gay for us all

george : no.

karl : sorry sap

karl : i tried

sapnap : wow george you just said no to karl

sapnap : karl, he hates you

karl : :(

george : no i don’t karl 

george : sapnap shut up

dream : george has a crush on karl but not us 💔

george : yup

sapnap : okay fuck you don’t admit it

george : sorry my finger slipped

sapnap : i wanna hit you

george : hot

sapnap : twink 

george : okay i’m not a twink you dick

dream : ...

dream : yes you are

sapnap : you look more like a twink then karl

karl : hey!

sapnap : wait 

sapnap : hold on let me go look at pics of karl 

george : i’m not a twink assholes

dream : it’s okay to be a twink george ❤️

george : no it’s not

george #maketwinksextinct

dream : ur literally a twink tho

sapnap : ok i’m back

sapnap : george looks more like one 

george : why must you do this to me

dream : it’s ok george you can be our twink 😫

dream : just join the poly and you’ll be our favorite twink

george : disgusting i’m homophobic

sapnap : you literally like men

george : okay?

dream : you could just say you’re scared to be our fav twink george 

george : IM NOT A TWINK.

sapnap : aw he’s getting angry

dream : aww 🥰

karl : guys leave george alone

george : thank you karl

karl : he’s going through a little twink breakdown

george : fuck you karl

sapnap : even KARL agrees

george : please 💔

dream : beg.

sapnap : WOAHHH DREAM 

karl : 🤨

sapnap : this isn’t private dms 😃

dream : sorry my finger slipped 🙄

george : that was...

george : alright

sapnap : THAT WAS WHAT GEORGE?????

george : i’m suddenly unable to remember what i was gonna say sorry

dream : what was it george tell us

george : what was what

karl : the twink is popping off

sapnap : HELP

dream : tell us georgie 

george : that was disgusting now smd

sapnap : damn

sapnap : alright whatever you say

sapnap : i’m on my knees sir

dream : what

george : you’re pretty down there

dream : WHAT ?€<€{€\§>§[£{2[

sapnap : GEORGE ????€82{2]

george : did i stutter

karl : ayo???

dream : i can’t do this its so much gay its so much

sapnap : i think i just

sapnap : nutted

karl : so we're all just gay boys here..alright

dream : karl says g slur?

sapnap : g spot?

dream : what

george : g SLUR sapnap SLUR

sapnap : OHHHHH

sapnap : oh my god stop i thought it said spot im blind 

dream : i cant do this you're an idiot 

karl : i actually put my head in my hands i can't

sapnap : I THOUGHT IT SAID G SPOT FUCK YOU GUYS

george : it clearly says slur

sapnap : you know what

sapnap : i'm gonna hate crime you in a second

george : i'll moan

dream : WHAT IS THIS SEXUAL TENSION 


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this book is unnecessarily long for what smh

***messages between george and sapnap***

sapnap : *image*

sapnap : oh my god

sapnap : wrong person holy shit

sapnap : ok i deleted it its good

george : oh my god sapnap

george : you do realize i can see what you fucking delete

george : dude what the fuck is that

sapnap : i can explain

george : EXPLAIN THEN???

sapnap : its just a pic of me and this guy

george : YOU AND WHO

sapnap : ...

sapnap : ok remember when i went to dreams 

sapnap : for a few weeks

george : yes

sapnap : george

sapnap : connect the dots here

george : um

george : wait

george : OH MY GOD

george : YOU FUCKED DREAM???

sapnap : no fucking shit

george : he BOTTOMS??????

sapnap : 100% he doesnt top at all

george : i dont even know what to say anymore

sapnap : this is ackward..

george : i'm not gonna comment on that

george : i'm gonna go bully the fuck out of dream

sapnap : NOOOOO

sapnap : NO YOU CANT

george : why not

sapnap : THAT WAS WHEN HE WAS STILL "straight" YK

george : okay?

george : does he not know you have it

sapnap : dude no concent is key

george : consent sapnap

sapnap : consent dickhead 

sapnap : plz keep this between you and i or i will die

sapnap : literally.

george : you're ruining a perfectly good opportunity to make dream wanna cry but fine

sapnap : thx sexy ill syd or something

***three bottoms one top***

george : dream sapnap sent me a pic of him fucking you and he told me not to tell you but i hate sapnap and i also wanna bully the FUCK out of you so im telling you

dream : dude what

sapnap : GEORGE OEJFHQBHKJD

dream : sapnap what

george : reread <3

dream : wait which one

george : which ONE??

george : these MORE?

dream : multiple yeah

karl : bad timing?

george : dude i didnt know u bottomed u fucking liar

dream : now u do

dream : why?

dream : wanna fuck me yourself georgie?

karl : yup bad timing

sapnap : HELP?

george : smile and nod...

sapnap : im gonna shoot myself in the head

george : wait

george : WAIT

george : so this whole time you were "straight"

george : you & sapnap were fucking

sapnap : basically lol

dream : i mean yeah

george : everything is happening so fast

sapnap : you'll be alright

karl : wait what is even happening

george : SAPNAP AND DREAM WERE FUCKING WHILE DREAM WAS STRAIGHT

karl : oh

george : THATS IT?

karl : are you surprised?

karl : its dream and sapnap

karl : they're.... them 

sapnap : hes right tbh

dream : it started with me asking for help to find out my sexuality and then we just fucked more and more

sapnap : could've done the same for u george but u denied everytime

george : U WERE SERIOUS?

sapnap : of course

sapnap : but now u have it figured out so nvm

sapnap : what a shame dude

dream : seriously sapnap is pretty good

karl : what the HONK is happening

george : i am leaving 

sapnap : you're no fun british boy

george : die

sapnap : u always ruin the moment 

sapnap : i HATE men

sapnap : especially colorblind men

karl : i am literally colorblind

sapnap : oh except for karl jacobs sapnap was taken

dream : dude what the fuck

sapnap : his last name

dream : karl jacobs sapnap was taken not found

sapnap : i just said i hate british people

dream : u leaked our sex picture to george

dream : stop talking

sapnap : i-

sapnap : sorry straight boy i didn’t mean to

george : can’t believe dream was like “pussy 🥰” and then got fucked by sapnap

sapnap : right dude i couldn’t believe it either

sapnap : now we’re poly and i hate him even if hes good at sex

dream : sapnap only using me for sex confirmed???

sapnap : yup that’s me !! <3

karl : this conversation is taking so many turns what do i even say

karl : its been like five minutes and theres been like, three topic changes

george : dude dreams a fucking bottom 

dream : why are you STILL on about that

george : because i didn’t expect you to be a little bitch

dream : ok die this is bottom shaming 

george : good kill all bottoms

sapnap : then whats the fun in sex

dream : hes right

dream : wtf do tops do after theres no more bottoms

george : hey besties !! shut up please <3


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ayo corpse’s new song?? pog??  
> also this is stupid

***messages between karl, dream, and sapnap***

sapnap : ok correct me if i’m wrong

sapnap : and idk if i’m just high as hell right now 

sapnap : but i wouldn’t mind george in our poly

dream : why is this on your mind

sapnap : it’s always been on my mind 

sapnap : but now he likes dick and i’m like 🤪😫🤭🙏

dream : the emojis made me gag

dream : do any of us even have romantic feelings for george

sapnap : dude i’ve literally always had romantic feelings for george its GEORGE

sapnap : and i know you do too

karl : oh yeah i remember when dream texted me abt george

dream : THAT WAS LIKE WEEKS AGO LEAVE ME ALONE 💔

dream : what about you karl

karl : ?

dream : karl you’re part of this relationship dumbass

dream : we aren’t gonna invite someone else to it if you don’t want them in it

karl : oh no i don’t care

karl : i like george

karl : we talk in private a lot recently 

dream : oh so george has literally been taking our man

sapnap : i never underestimated him so

karl : hes not taking anyone you dummys

sapnap : ok so now what

dream : ?

sapnap : like what do we do now

sapnap : do we tell him

dream : we can

dream : but i doubt george is gonna be like “oh i feel the same 🥰❤️“

dream : it’s just not him

sapnap : so we just

sapnap : sit here and dont tell him

dream : no dumbass obviously we tell him, we just make sure he knows he can reject us 

sapnap : he won’t reject us i’m way too fucking sexy dude

dream : ..

dream : you are literally going to be the reason we get rejected sapnap

sapnap : 🖕🏼😐🖕🏼

dream : thanks hottie

dream : lets get karl to do it

karl : what

dream : george cant reject karl

karl : yes he can

karl : he can reject anyone when it comes to what he’s comfortable with

sapnap : hes right

dream : then wtf do we do

karl : we either don’t tell him

karl : or we tell him TOGETHER

karl : and we have to make the confession so he’s not weirded out by it

sapnap : we’re gonna write a fucking confession 

karl : yes

karl : because knowing you you’ll say something innapropriate that won’t help the situation if he IS uncomfortable 

dream : baby you’re so smart 

karl : i’m not, you guys are just dingus’

sapnap : ok then wtf is my line

dream : why don’t we just do it 

dream : no writing, no practice, just us telling him from our hearts

sapnap : our 🥺 hearts 🥺

dream : ok fairy

sapnap : at least i’m hot

karl : okay but if we do that seriously no stupid jokes

karl : this is serious, we can’t have george thinking we aren’t serious 

dream : ok so

dream : we do all want george in this poly

sapnap : yes i want the twink in the poly

karl : oh and call him a twink in the confession

sapnap : you said no jokes

karl : george gets uncomfortable with SERIOUS conversations dummys

karl : make it so he knows you guys aren’t like, pressuring him

karl : plus i rlly want to see his reaction to being called a twink again

dream : george woke up and fr chose twink

sapnap : we woke up and really simped for one 🤔

dream : don’t remind me i might gag

karl : atleast he’s pretty

sapnap : not prettier than me

dream : babe anything is prettier than you

dream : you’re ugly 🥰

sapnap : this is a hate crime

dream : only for u sexy beast 😫

sapnap : i’m gonna gag i hate the gays

sapnap : specifically, dreamwastaken

dream : aw when hes a fan 🥰

sapnap : i should’ve known getting into this relationship would just make sapnap bullying hours longer 

dream : i’m not bullying you

dream : i’m showing love <3

sapnap : this is why i like karl more than you 

karl : i like george better than you two

dream : you can’t do that hes not in the relationship 

karl : i still do

sapnap : that hurt yk 💔

karl : good

sapnap : karl why are u being so mean 💔

karl : as the famous dreamwastaken would say

karl : i’m showing love <3

dream : you can’t use my line against me it’s just not right

karl : i just did though??

sapnap : ayo sassy karl? ngl kinda turned on 😫

dream : when are you not turned on

dream : fucking freak

sapnap : ok bottom bitch die

dream : i’m a bottom and proud

sapnap : you shouldn’t be ❤️

karl : i still cannot believe dream is 

karl : yk

sapnap : gay?

sapnap : OH A BOTTOM

karl : yes

sapnap : oh i’ve always knew

sapnap : it’s always the mfs who act just like he acts

dream : what is that supposed to mean

sapnap : nothing nice <3

dream : can we go back to our plan with george and stop this madness 💔

sapnap : no

sapnap : #killallbottoms

sapnap : EXCEPT karl

dream : karl doesn’t count he doesn’t do sex

karl : i would

sapnap : ...

sapnap : wait

dream : 👁👁

sapnap : karl???

karl : it just depends on if i’m comfy with the person

dream : so ur not asexual

karl : not when it comes to u guys

sapnap : are u suggesting

sapnap : we are going to have

sapnap : 🤭 sex 🤭

karl : not with those emojis, no

dream : LETS GOOOOOOO 

sapnap : dream come pick me up we’re going to karls

dream : OMW ‼️

karl : i’m locking my door


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cried to an adventure time song yesterday, like literally i was sobbing and theres just “adventure time, cmon grab your friends” lowk felt good tho??  
> also, thanks so much for 1k kudos??? gonna kiss everyone??

***three bottoms, one top***

sapnap : georgie poo

george : what

sapnap : hey babe 😫

george : hey fairy

dream : IMMMM

sapnap : wow degrading 🥰

sapnap : thats so hot are we about to kiss right now

george : no thanks

sapnap : when he plays hard to get

sapnap : we all know u want a piece of ass george its ok

george : i am begging you,, to shut up

sapnap : only for u <3

dream : george why dont u just let it happen, sapnap is desperate

sapnap : hes right i am

george : sapnap is gross i dont want stds yet

dream : "yet"

sapnap : but you want stds SOMEDAY

sapnap : cuz i got u if thats the case

dream : sapnap u dirty fuck

sapnap : atleast i'm hot and sexy

dream : um....

sapnap : ok die

karl : hi guys! :D

sapnap : karl can we please aggressively make out

karl : sure

george : wow karl cheating on me already

dream : CHEATING??

dream : karl how could you

karl : oops???

sapnap : YOU WHORE

george : dont call my boyfriend a whore

dream : karl how could u do this to us </3

sapnap : i am so close to hatecriming karl

karl : ITS NOT MY FAULT

karl : it was the heat of the moment i didnt know 

dream : how do you not know how you cheated on us karl jacobs </3

karl : i thought it was karl jacobs sapnap was taken </3

sapnap : no u ruined it

dream : sorry karl jacobs not found

george : lets make out karl

sapnap : george i hate you for this

george : do u wanna make out with us sapnap

sapnap : ...

sapnap : yeah <3

george : poly but without dream

dream : ok fuck you didn't you JUST hate sapnap

george : i don't recall

sapnap : no its ok, i like degrading 

dream : we get it you're a slut

sapnap : do NOT slut shame me

george : don't slut shame my boyfriend dreamwastaken

dream : i'm slut shaming 

sapnap : this is why i'm with george now

dream : he want the whole crew shawty brave

sapnap : yup thats me !!

sapnap : i don't have no shame wanting the whole crew 

sapnap : i want u too dream lets kiss

george : YOU ARE SUCH A WHORE SAPNAP

sapnap : can u blame me

sapnap : u guys are just so hot and sexy and hot and sexy

dream : wow he said it twice

dream : i suddenly am seduced 

sapnap : suddenly? you're seduced all the time 🙄

dream : now ur getting ahead of yourself 

sapnap : ok you know what 

sapnap : this is some real homophobia

sapnap : its disgusting

dream : <3 

george : karl and i could never do that to you sapnap

karl : hes right

sapnap : see this is why we're dating 

dream : the cheating is unreal

sapnap : you deserve it bitch boy

dream : I DONT DESERVE SHIT

dream : i've been nothing but nice

sapnap : you've been everything but nice

dream : yeah bc this is what i get in return 💔

sapnap : you still deserve it

dream : i cant believe this is what i got in a relationship with 

dream : all i do is get HATECRIMED

dream : i am not happy in this relationship

sapnap : well that sucks but you're stuck with me 

dream : die immediately

dream : lets just poly all 4 plz im begging i cant 

george : eh

george : ok sure but you're the least favorite

dream : you arent even dating them theyre both mine 

george : i just accepted u in the poly how could you </3

dream : die.


End file.
